The Power of Honoring Pauses: Interview with Klydie
Today we're joined by Klydie, who I first met while taking her classes on I Street in Washington, D.C. While thinking about how to introduce her, the word, "sacred" kept coming to mind. She always seemed to understand naturally how to hold the space, and offer the practice that I needed. I remember that. Yes, there was the warmth of her voice, and the jokes that she cracks, and her laugh! But there was also a deep reverence. Her breath work and meditation-led practices were healing for me at a time when my day job across the street was crushing my spirit. It feels like a hundred lifetimes ago that we were there, and yet here we are now in this digital space, and she is creating a magazine, and has a beautiful story to share.
Without further ado, meet Klydie!
“You were born to express something, so do it.”
1. Tell us a little about yourself and your current creative endeavors. I'm Klydie. I'm a black woman from Louisiana and I've been living in Paris for almost five years. I'm 40 with a toddler and starting my career from scratch. I've been a museum curator for 15 years but after working in a toxic environment I put that part of life on pause. I've taught yoga since 2012, so I'm pouring my soul into that and the healing modalities of Thai massage and Reiki. My most recent endeavor is MOON MAG, a digital lifestyle magazine inspired by the phases of the moon.
2. What inspired you to create MOON MAG? I created MOON MAG at the end of March (for April 1) during COVID-19 lockdown. I was intuitively guided toward this as a way to express my creativity and all my expertise and offerings in one place. It was like a deep meditation, and it still is. I needed to feel connected to something natural and greater than myself, then my circumstance and the moon just came into full view for me in a way I never saw before. I saw its infinite potential and its constant presence and influence. I knew that I wanted to connect to this more and help other people do the same. It really helped me through lockdown with a toddler in a tiny apartment in the middle of the city.
3. What is your current routine like? On a daily basis, I ensure a strong and loving connection with my son. This is the most important thing to me. I give as many cuddles as he will accept in the mornings and go from there. Once I drop him off at daycare, I work on the magazine and yoga/healing in spurts interspersed with home duties such as cooking and doing the laundry. I ensure a period of rest for at least an hour. Then it's time with my son and partner from picking him up from daycare to his bedtime. Then I work until I fall asleep.
On a monthly basis, my magazine work is at its height from the 15th to publication day. These are the hardest days because I have to work on the computer in front of my son much more often. Though COVID threw a big wrench in this summer, my son and I usually spend two summer months a year with my family in the States to recharge on love and get away from the city. My partner joins us at times and all three of us feel sooooo much better for it. Daily, my yoga practice has changed soooooo much over the years. It is much more gentle. I rarely sweat when I practice now. It's more about honoring what this body has been through. Lots of cat/cow. Lots of stretching. Honestly, that's about it! I walk a lot to get places so I get cardio in that way. Oh, how things have changed over the years! I meditate every night next to my son as he's falling asleep. This is usually when creativity hits me the hardest and I get to work right after he falls asleep!
“I rarely sweat when I practice now. It’s more about honoring what this body has been through. Lots of cat/cow. Lots of stretching.”
4. Do you relate at all to the notion of a "flow state" and do you find that your work provides this for you at all? Because of the sporadic nature of my concentratic moments of work, I'm not actually sure whether or not I experience this. For me, the flow or the zone is more of ensuring balance in my daily life so that I don't burn out (I totally burned out during lockdown so this is even more so important for me now). Having a toddler in a foreign country with not much of a support network and COVID on top of that means that I bear so much work that most people don't even think about or acknowledge. This has burned me out and now that daycare is open again, I ensure that I rest as much as needed and do things that make me happy and only work in this balanced state. Thanks to my new-found freedom from government/corporate work, I no longer have to worry about the white-male productivity gaze. I work ONLY when I'm not stressed. If I find that I'm getting stressed or spiraling into a frenzy, I stop as long as necessary. I meditate. I spend time with my family. I do grounding practices. I practice gentle yoga. Once I get back to balance (my flow state), I start working again without even saying, 'okay, now I must work.' It just comes naturally. The creativity flows; the problems solve themselves. It's beautiful really. I guess I'm saying a flow state is a state of balance which can only be achieved when you fully trust your way of being; trusting HOW you individually find your state of balance. I hope this makes sense. lol (Editor's note: YES!)
5. Has your work created any shifts or evolution in your relationships with other people at all? If so, in what ways? I'm naturally an introvert. Teaching yoga and collaborating with others for the magazine have been life-saving. They keep me connected to others. Most importantly, these connections are super meaningful. I connect with other creators, healers, artists, activists. These worlds have ensured I have a bubble of beautiful souls around me who reflect my best qualities and vice-versa. So it keeps me accountable for doing my best work, helping others, being authentic, and the like. Now that I left toxic government work behind, I've found it easier to remove all relationships which don't serve me, which are draining, which are codependent. No more narcissists, ya know? I thought I had to keep certain people around to be nice or to be loving, but what about my boundaries, what about me loving myself? Fuck it, all that shit had to go. I am guarding my energy, my spirit like I should now. I'm actually super proud.
“I no longer have to worry about the white-male productivity gaze.”
6. Do you feel that your work has helped you to connect more deeply with yourself? If so, can you share in what ways? My work as a yoga teacher and healer gave me tools to use when the shit hits the fan. I, for the most part, had not used these tools, because I was definitely bullshitting myself like many others in the wellness industry with 'love and light' toxic coverup.
Then my bubble burst all over the place when I moved to Paris, and had a hard time here, and was bullied at work, and forced to leave, and then stuck here without seeing my family for three years, and then my dad dying and I wasn't able to see him before his death. In 2018, allllllllllll the shit hit the fan. So I had to use the tools. I had to heal myself. And the thing about healing that I found is that it takes a lot of failed attempts. See, you keep failing until you really face your BS. You have to face up to your responsibilities in the experiences that caused you pain. You have to stop seeing yourself as a victim and empower yourself with the fact that you have the actual ability to be your own redemption. So this shit took me a long time. It took almost two years. Even with all the tools. The work is the work. You can have all the tools Home Depot sells, but until you roll up your sleeves and get to hammering, no real progress can be made.
So I THOUGHT I really knew myself and honored myself before, but now I KNOW that I do. I truly no longer care what anyone thinks. You think I'm lazy because I'm about to take this nap? Good. Good for you. Now go work until you have a panic attack. I'll help you, of course, for a fee, but you gotta go through your own life and learn at your own pace.
7. Could you share about your asana, breathing or meditation practice? I practice minimal asana at this point in my life, but that which I practice is crucial to my well being. It's very gentle and sporadic. I don't prescribe to this yoga at 5 a.m. every single day, Ashtanga-'til-you-drop yoga anymore. With a family, it's so different now. I know when I need to move, and that's when I move. I know when I need to rest, and that's when I rest. I try to meditate every night next to my son. My yoga is more about being present in my life and in my roles as a mother, a householder, a yoga teacher, a healer, a creator. Each of these roles requires a certain amount of attention and practice. For me, these all must be able to flow easily alongside each other in order for me to be successful. These are a lot of roles. I must be able to confidently dedicate myself to them when the time is right. I must weigh the sacrifices. None of these are really mental activities. It's all in the spirit, the energy, and the intuition. The mental just flows towards where the intention is. Meditation and asana, to some extent, help to keep the intention clear as do journaling and REST/non-doing.
8. What advice would you give someone just starting out on a new creative project? Don't put so much energy into it so quickly that you burn out. You thought of something that you want to put forth into the world. That means the world needs it. So pace yourself. Do the work but take the pauses. The needed information can only be downloaded during the pause of stillness. I've created so many businesses, and had so many ideas. Most of them died with burn out. Moon Mag is and will be still going strong because I now honor the pause. This, for me at least, is the key to longevity in the game of creation. Infinite ideas come up. If you're a creator, you know what I mean! The ideas flow forth, don't they! But when you pick that one to go for. Take it slow and see how that keeps the spark going for the long term. It's a beautiful thing!
“You have to stop seeing yourself as a victim and empower yourself with the fact that you have the actual ability to be your own redemption.”
9. What is a mantra that you live by? "Fuck 'em" is super basic but everyone has an opinion on what you do or want to do. If you listen to them, you will find yourself stopping before you start. This is how society has ingrained staying in your station in life. Fuck 'em. Do what you want to do. Just try it out. If it fails, that's cool, if it doesn't that's cool, too. It's not about failing or succeeding, it's about expressing your soul as accurately and honestly as possible. You were born to express something, so do it.
10. Anything else you would like to share? You can follow me on Insta @theofficialmoonmag, the monthly digital magazine is only $6. Soon coming is MOON SANCTUARY a monthly membership where you get a full moon and new moon virtual ritual each month along with MOON MAG and some other goodies. Website (www.moonmagparis.com) is coming in a couple weeks in time for purchase of the July issue. I'm offering distance reiki sessions through @electricseafairy for €45 per session, find more info at electricseafairy.com.